


My One And Only

by bubble_bobb



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Breaking Up & Making Up, Canon Compliant, Crying, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Jealousy, M/M, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Poor baby Hongjoong just wants to sleep, Sharing a Bed, Sleeping Together, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 22:04:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20785775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubble_bobb/pseuds/bubble_bobb
Summary: They ended their relationship a long time ago, agreed on not taking it further since they didn't see it going anywhere.He moved on, right?





	My One And Only

**Author's Note:**

> Hello  
I hope you enjoy ♥  
Sorry for any errors  
Feel free to leave kudos or comments, tell me what's wrong and what's not  
Okay have a good day and bye ♥

There's a faint call of his name somewhere around him. He can hear it clearly.

"Hongjoong ah."

There it is again. He knows this voice. Soft and smooth but deep and hoarse.

A rough shake of his shoulder jolts him awake and he looks towards the familiar voice he heard just a second ago, or was it all just a dream?

"Can I... sleep in your bed?"

Hongjoong looks up, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm, groaning. He spots Seonghwa's figure standing by his bed, making him flinch back a little at how close the older actually is. He frowns a little bit but nods at the vocalist, lifting the covers and shifting to make more space.

"I guess."

He answers simply, his voice heavy with sleep. He moves closer to the wall, making even more space for the older to lay on since Seonghwa is indeed taller than he is, as much as he doesn't like it. The vocalist lays down next to him, pulling the blanket up and sighing, visibly more relaxed.

Hongjoong looks at him, his expression blank. He knows that Seonghwa doesn't take nightmares well, hell, he was usually the one to hold Seonghwa close to himself in this very bed and rock the older back and forth until he fell back asleep or calmed down and stopped shaking.

He also knows that Seonghwa always needs someone to be with him after a nightmare or he won't fall back asleep easily.

Yeosang told him when they finally returned from their first tour that he cuddled Seonghwa to sleep throughout most of the nights.

Hongjoong's heart clenched at the words that kept falling from Yeosang's mouth but what could he do. Seonghwa is free to do anything with anyone, especially now.

But he doesn't feel the same whenever he sees Seonghwa cuddled up to San or Wooyoung anymore, and he can keep his cool whenever someone is talking about him.

"Thank you."

Seonghwa whispers, slowly moving under the comforter, his moves looking unsure as he makes himself more comfortable on the small bed. He turns to his side, his back now facing Hongjoong.

The leader sighs, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep once more. He squeezes them tightly together, hoping to get even a little bit of sleep again but failing.

He rolls his eyes when nothing works, letting his eyes be open and look at the wall opposite the little bunk bed.

It took him so long to fall asleep and now he's awake again.

Now he just has the urge to fish out his computer and get to work, but he doesn't want to move and upset Seonghwa with his clicking.

His eyes wander around their room. It's as clean as always, everything is in it's respectful place and nicely visible.

Seonghwa always did his job to the fullest, making everything look perfect.

He looks back down when Seonghwa turns to his back again with a hum before facing him, his cheek a little squished on the pillows.

Hongjoong chuckles quietly, he never understood how Seonghwa always fell asleep so quickly. He knows that Seonghwa can sleep anywhere at any time, just like he can.

Even after a nightmare the older fell asleep pretty fast, he had to have someone with him though, otherwise it took him long minutes and sometimes even hours to drift off.

Hongjoong's eyes wander over Seonghwa's face, taking in every single detail he had ever missed, though he knows that's nearly impossible because of how close they used to be.

He still remembers the day he confessed his feelings to the older.

He was shaking and his heart felt heavy. He was afraid of rejection but he didn't get any harsh or hurtful words or reactions, to his surprise, Seonghwa liked him as well.

He liked him enough to go out with him and date him. If he can even count those few months as dating.

The other members didn't judge them, they loved them the same which made a huge rock fall down from Hongjoong's heart. He loves his members and judgment and hatred from their side would ruin him.

The thought of why Seonghwa is in his bed in the first place runs through his head. He remembers how much he loved Seonghwa's warmth in his arms and how much he loved watching Seonghwa fall asleep next to him.

He even remembers Seonghwa's happy purring when he ran his fingers through his hair or rubbed his back after a long day.

He thinks about the first time they went out as an actual couple, finally holding hands and walking around in the middle of the night when no one else could see them.

They were a mess, sneaking around, giving and receiving quick and rushed kisses in the darkness with little giggles shared between them. It was silly now that he thinks about it properly.

But he loved it, he loved Seonghwa. He loved the way Seonghwa's lips felt against his and he adored the taste.

He smiles at the memory of Seonghwa's face when he first leaned in.

They looked around the dimly lit city, their fingers intertwined cheeks rosy. They were walking down a dark alley when Hongjoong stopped, pushing Seonghwa against the nearest wall with a sudden burst of want and confidence.

His smile soon falls down from his face, he still remembers how their relationship ended.

When Seonghwa came to him to the studio one night with teary eyes and said that he can't do it anymore. He was confused at first but Seonghwa continued, not giving him time to ask.

He told him that he can't hide forever. He told him that he wants to kiss Hongjoong whenever he pleases or hold him close when they are together in public.

But they can't do that, they're not allowed to. They have to hide. But they didn't, they didn't hide because they had nothing to hide after, everything was over. That one night, all good ended and their perfect little worlds crumbled to pieces.

Hongjoong then stops himself from thinking about more, frowning at his own thoughts.

Why is he doing this?

Why is he thinking about this?

He can't still feel something towards the older, can he?

They ended their relationship a long time ago, agreed on not taking it further since they didn't see it going anywhere.

He moved on, right?

Seonghwa is not in love with him anymore and he is not in love with Seonghwa.

Now that he really thinks about it, was the vocalist ever in love with him?

He was the one to suggest their little break before ending this close connection between them. He was the one who made Hongjoong realize that he can't just fall in love with whoever he wants to, not when he's an idol. But he seemed so genuine when he said he doesn't want to hide their relationship, he looked so confident saying that he loves him.

And Seonghwa always treated the rapper so well, told him that everything was going to be okay as long as they are together and by each other's sides.

But they are not anymore. That means it's not okay, is it?

Hongjoong slowly lifts one of his trembling hands, letting it rest on Seonghwa's exposed warm cheek, his breath shaking ever so slightly.

Seonghwa frowns but his expression soon softens and he nuzzles Hongjoong's hand, his eyes remaining closed and face calm.

Seonghwa shifts closer, snuggling under the comforter, making Hongjoong even more nervous. Why is he nervous, is it because Seonghwa could wake up at any time and see what the leader is doing or is it because it's Seonghwa who's laying next to him, so close that he can feel his hot breath on his skin. He himself doesn't know, all he knows is that he is nervous.

Hongjoong's heart skips a beat and his breath catches in his throat. His eyes water, the more he watches Seonghwa's face, that's only lit by the moonlight, the more he feels his heart racing.

No, it can't be.

He can't still be in love with Seonghwa. He can't feel like this again, can he?

**Author's Note:**

> I've been so sad lately and HongHwa being mean to each other is not helping, so I thought I would write something about how they changed the relationship between them during the small break between Treasure and SMN, because that's the time they stopped being affectionate and nice to each other  
.  
Talk to me on Twitter? (@ateezlvruwu)


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